Sunday, October 31, 2010
"i wont leave you"
Saturday, October 02, 2010
hahaha, i was right. you met him for lunch, after all. damn, i'm good at this shit. hahah. sigh. it burns pretty badly, man. totally don't feel like ur boyfriend.
Friday, October 01, 2010
today you said you had to go baillieu first.. i dunno, i think i'm super paranoid. haha. somehow, the idea of you meeting him secretly just comes to my mind. i shouldn't be thinking like that. and even if you are, it's not supposed to matter to me because you don't have to treat me like a boyfriend. i'm supposed to share you anyways. argh. gotta let you fly away and i can't keep you shackled to me. the only thing i can do is to fly alongside you.
i felt like you just did tonight. haha.
etched at 9:00 PM
and then there's tonight. apparently you said goodbye to 'someone'. and then you cried. looks like you still really do have strong feelings for him. according to you, i should be happy. there's no way i can be happy if i know you cried. and since you said i should be happy, and that you said goodbye, that must mean that he gave up on you. and you were so affected by it and you cried. when we broke up, i don't think you cried. i can't believe how insignificant i am to you. but still, i won't give up. even though you make me feel like i'm not ur boyfriend, i will continue to love you, and act as if you're my girlfriend. you don't have to reciprocate, i understand. but sometimes, it is just tough knowing that he means so much more to you than i do. i know you're going through a really hard time too.. i hope you will get over him as soon as possible.
did you cry because your safety net disappeared? you were sad that you could no longer go back to him. which basically means i was just a spare tyre. well, i don't think you treat me like that. i really trust you and i believe that you truly do love me. it's just that sometimes, i just can't help thinking like that. you make me feel so miserable at times. but like i said, i wasn't even supposed to be your boyfriend again. you gave me a second chance. so i'll let you trample all over me. if you treat me as your boyfriend just sometimes, that is good enough for me. a second class citizen in ur heart only deserves that much.
i pray that one day, i'll be first class. the only thing you will ever need.
etched at 10:49 PM
etched at 11:54 AM